ays

The entry below was first written in 1 December 2008 on my Multiply blog.

***

I have just finished my contract last week. Yes, I am, for the nth time, jobless again. Okay, it depends on how you look at it. So, I used the above title instead of "Bumming Holidays". Anyways, I won't be really bumming.

***

The last few weeks of my contract was sooo hectic. I go to work at least at 9.00, sometimes at 8.30. (I can't be there earlier! I'm not amorning person.) And I stay at until around 8.30 to 9.00. Whew! Ganun kadaming trabaho. And I know it would be busy at the conference center in Poznan, Poland. How I'd wish I was there. I know it would be so interesting. On the other hand, I guess it's okay kasi sobrang lamig na dun. Dito pa nga lang nilalamig na ako, dun pa kaya.

***

I'm currently listening to JumpStart at RX 93.1 via internet. I haven't tuned in them in awhile since two new colleagues joined me in the room. I have a big room, probably the biggest in the floor, because our team needs around three people to register delegates. I missed RX Monsters' Riot and Chico and Del's Top Ten tuloy. I can listen to it now at home though, now that I have moble internet for my laptop. Weeee!!!

***

About my colleagues, one girl is from Russia and the other guy is Norwegian-German. Okay naman kaya lang hindi satisfying ang trabaho nila.

Yung babae, panay yosi tapos sho-shonga-shonga pa. Babagal-bagal kumilos at ang mga tanong, puro "duh!!!". Tapos kapag nagtatanong ang 'yung isang kasama namin, sasagot siya bago ko pa man masagot ang tanong na para bang alam niyang lahat tapos hindi naman.

'Yung lalaki naman, okay ang trabaho, mabilis at sigurado sa ginagawa. Kaya lang bugnutin dahil minsan nakakainis ang communications na ibinibigay sa amin ng mga participants. Kaya lang masyado niyang pinupulahan ang mga nag-re-register at tinatanong kung ano gagawin nila sa conference. Okay, may mga taong hindi mo nga alam kung ano ang gagawin dun. Pero don't be harsh with the students and the young activist dahil maganda nga na aktibo sila sa usapin laban sa climate change. Natutuwa ako na gumagawa sila ng paraan para matuto at malaman ang mga bagay-bagay ukol dito. Besides, hindi namin trabaho 'yun. Ang dapat naming gawin ay mag-register.

Sana next time, huwag na silang kunin.

***

Speaking of work, I still got some part time kaya may income pa naman ako. Saka someone offered me a new part-time job kaya may extra income ako at may pagkaka-abalahan na. It was offered to me on my last day. Freelance din kaya okay lang at maluwag sa schedule. It's indeed a blessing.

***

In the last two weeks of my cotract, nagkaroon ng weather disturbance dito. Sobrang lamig niya, as in nag-snow na. I must admit, I liked seeing the snow at sobrang nakakatuwang maglakad habang bumabagsak ito. Ayaw ko lang ng lamig.

***

Nagbukas na ang Weihnachtsmarkt o Christmas Market. Malapit na nga ang Pasko. Pero to be honest, hindi ako excited compared last year. Sabagay, umuwi ako last year kaya mas masaya ako. Mas emo siguro ang Pasko ko ngayon. hehehe.

***

Speaking of Christmas, I have bought Christmas balls and Christmas light to decorate my little Christmas tree. Wala lang, I just want my pad to have some holiday look. I think I still have to add some more decos. Hindi pa feel ang Christmas eh. hehehe

***

I read The Christmas Candle by Max Lucado. It is a nice book, a book that makes you feel better and light-hearted after reading. I made it as the "Feature of the Month" in the Community Library. Tapos kelangan nilang mag-deposit ng €3 para siguradong isasauli nila on time. Tapos, kung sakto nilang isasauli, may gift sila from the library.

***

Inspired by "The Chrstmas Candle", I thought of buying candles as gifts this Christmas. I'll be going around the city to buy some and look for some small stuff to decorate it. Now, I'm excited about Christmas.

***

Tapos, dahil may project ako to buy SuperBook and The Flying House DVDs for the kids to borrow in the library. I have told them that I will donate three book from my collection of Paulo Coelho in the library for every €10 that they will donate. Yesterday, They have donated €38.50. So, goodbye Paulo Coelho. Kaunti na lang, wala na akong libro ni Coelho.

***

I'm thinking of buying a new phone as a Christmas gift for myself. I'm not really buying soemthing fancy. I just want a new one to replace my old phone. I just need a phone with a good memory and camera. I'm not a tech geek anyways. I also want to buy a new webcam, malabo kasi ang webcam ko, parang ako minsan.

***

Kung si Santa Claus ang magbibigay ng wish ko, siguro ibibigay niya 'yun sa akin kasi naging mabait naman ako. Pero since, permanent job ang hanap ko, malamang na ang ibigay niyang trabaho at taga-gawa ng laruan kasama ng mga Christmas elves niya. huhuhu

***

I'm praying... and believing it will come true, to have a permanent job the soonest. I want to have one but most of all I need it, not just for myself but for my family as well. Dear God, help me. You know my intentions. Please hear me. This is my Christmas wish...

***

Call this coinsidence! After I click the "Save & Publish" button on the Compose Blog Entry page, I was disconnected from the internet. While restarting connection, I went to the toilette and found a missed call from my supervisor as I sat in front of my laptop. I called her and and received a text message from her asking for my P11 form (CV from in the organization). When she answered the phone, she told me that, in her own words, "Ibebenta kita!". Apparently, a colleague has told her of a vacancy, I supposed or there would be one.

I shed some tears. I know there are no guarantees and this doesn't speak of a job. Just a chance. I'm also not expecting anything.

I cried because, I know and I believe, that even if God is not giving me the job I've been wishing for, He has given me hoped by receiving this information. This is, as in The Alchemist said, an omen.

***

Thank you, God, for always being there. And most especially for giving me hope at the time I'm losing it. I know you have palnned something for me. Please give me the patience, for I know it won't come on my time but in Yours.

***

Indeed, I was correct for replacing the title from "Bumming Holidays" to "Jo/blessed Holidays!"

ays

grump⋅y /ˈgrʌmpi/ [gruhm-pee]

 

–adjective, grumpier, grumpiest.

surly or ill-tempered; discontentedly or sullenly irritable; grouchy.

 

Also, grumpish.

---

Origin:
1770–80; grump expressive word, first attested in the phrase humps and grumps slights and snubs + -y ¹

 

Synonyms

bad-tempered, cantankerous, cranky, cross, disagreeable, fretful, grouchy, irascible, irritable, nasty, peevish, petulant

Spanish: malhumorado, de mal humor, gruñón, de mala leche (coloquial),

German:

mürrisch,

Japanese:

気むずかしい

 

*** I know that's what I am and I think I'm becoming grumpier.

*** I liked Cookie Monster in Sesame Street, as a kid, and until now I still like cookies. But now, I think, I'm becoming Oscar the Grouch.

Currently feeling: grumpy

ays

My sister texted me about this incident, so I phone them last weekend.

My mom met the mother of a friend of mine in Friendster; this friend also lives here in Germany. Take note that I don't personally know this family. I only knew of her son through Friendster through a common friend, which is my friend in grade school and high school and his friend in college. I never knew their family even if we live in the same town and our baranggay is just right next to each other. Although my mom told me that she knows the mom.

Okay! So, they met, most probably in the subdivision where we purchased a lot and where they have built their house. This mom of my Friendster friend asked my mom blatantly if I am gay. So, my mom said no and asked her why had she asked such a question. Her only reason for thinking so... "Puro kasi lalaki ang nasa list of friends niya sa Friendster."

Ganun ba kababaw ang batayan ng pagkatao ng isang tao? O ganun lang kababaw ang pananaw niya? Malamang ang sagot ang 'yung huli!

Hindi ako nagagalit dahil inisip niya na bakla ako. Sanay na ako sa mga ganung akusasyon. Ang nakaka-inis lang ay ang husgahan ka ng isang tao na hindi ka nakikilala nang lubusan at lalong higit na nakakapag-ngitngit ay ang husgahan ka ng isang tao na hindi ka pa man lang nakikita nang personal.

Hindi lang unfair para sa akin 'yun. Pati na rin sa mga kaibigan ko na walang kamalay-malay na ginawang batayan sa pagkatao ng kapwa niya.

Naisip ko lang... Binilang kaya niya ang mga lalaki at babae sa friends list ko? Saan niya isinama ang mga kaibigan kong bakla, tomboy at bi?

Ano ang pakialam niya sa buhay at pagkatao ko? Ano man ako, sino man ako, ano man ang ginagawa ko... wala siyang pakialam! Hindi niya ako kilala kaya huwag siya mag-isip nang kung ano laban sa akin. At lalong huwag niyang idawit ang pamilya ko sa kung ano mang maruming pag-iisip niya.

Pasalamat siya at hindi ako ang hinarap niya. Nawawalan ako ng pinag-aralan sa harap ng mga taong makikitid ang utak na tulad niya. Mas makitid pa ang utak niya sa mga daan sa Obando. Lalo pa nga sigurong makitid ang utak niya sa mga bulaos ng bayan namin. At ang utak niya ay sing-lansa at baho ng amoy ng mga isda sa punduhan.

Ano kaya ang pinagmamalaki niya? Na may manugang, balae at apo siyang puti? O baka naman may ikinaiinggit siya sa akin o sa pamilya ko?

Ipagdasal niyang huwag niya akong makasalubong kung sakali mang umuwi ako. At kung masalubong ko man siya, mag-ingat siyang huwag madulas ang dila...

***

Ramdom Thoughts:

Everytime I'm telling my friends that "I felt lonely." or "I feel lonely." or "I'm a bit depressed.", They always say, "Na naman?!"

Hmmm... I guess, sadness has already acquired a permanent residence in me.

While working this morning in front of the computer, I suddenly smelled, or at least I think I smelled, ginataang manok. Impossible! Even if there are Filipinos on our floor, who would heat it that time of the day. Now, I'm craving for ginataang manok. If this persists until this evening, I'll pass by the grocery and buy ingredients.

Last night, my best friend Jay from Canada, texted me and asked if I can call him. Minsan lang naman kaya tumawag na ako. It was nice talking with him, sharing updates on our lives. Na-miss ko tuloy ang mga gimik namin. Siya kasi ang lagi kong kasama sa lakad ko lalo na nung umuwi ako last year.

ays

Lupigin ang mga

dalahira at talipandas!!!