i realy don't know what to do!!! i want to stay here pero marami akong nagiging problema. actually, nahihirapan lang akong ayusin ang lahat, para bang sinasadya. iniisip ko tuloy na baka may ibig sabihin 'yun. baka 'ka ko, gusto akong pauwiin?

magulo ang utak ko. hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. kung mag-i-istey ako dito, kailangan kong sumailalim sa proseso ng pag-a-apply sa uni at nangangahuluhan ito ng pakikisalamuha sa mga putanginang aleman na naka-assign sa pakikipag-usap sa mga dayuhan. ang sama kasi, kung sino pa ang na-assign na tumulong sa amin ang siyang mga racist at walang alam.

masyado na akong frustrated at depressed. hindi ko tuloy alam kung tama ang daang tinatahak ko...

tama bang suungin ko ang gubat dito o bumalik sa gubat ng 'pinas?

tama bang makipagsapalaran ako at salubungin ang malalaking alon na parang nagtataboy sa'kin?

nanghihina ako. malabong daan ang nababanaag ko. hindi ko alam kung dapat pa akong magpatuloy o sumuko na lang...

Currently feeling: worried

weiberfastnacht ngayon sa bonn-beuel. it is also called, frauentag o womens' day. it is the start of the celebration of the carnival.
it dates back from the 1800's when the labanderas in beuel, a town near bonn, got mad of their husbands having the chance to celebrate the carnival in cologne while they are left in the house to wash clothes. so, they have decided to have their own fiesta every year.
clothes still hang on the streets as a sign of the labanderas revolution and everyone are in costumes. a parade goes around the city and the people on the caravans give away sweets as the people chant, "Kamelle" (caramel).
it has also been a traditon to give the key of the city to the women as a sign that the authority is given to them to rule the city for a day.
the streets are filled with costumed people with smiles on their faces, young and old, men & women, whatever & whoever you are. it is also said that it is a day to be crazy and mad. people dance and sing on the streets with beers, champagnes or wine on their hands. it is indeed a day of craziness.
my class went there this morning and we had a great time. i drank sekt, just like champagne, and beer with an empty stomach and i'm really tipsy at the moment. what the heck! i'm enjoying the carnival. we still have until tuesday next week, a day before the ash wednesdaym, to celebrate. that also means, i still have the ticket to go crazy.

Currently feeling: jubilant

tangena! naiinis ako sa mga taong walang kwenta! naturingang mga kaibigan pero wala rin naman.

'yung isa, kung hindi pa malalaman sa friednster na malapit na berdy ko, hindi pa s'ya mag-e-e-mail. kailangan pa ba ng espesyal na okasyon para maalala at batiin ang isang tao????

'yung isa naman, hindi lang gumana ang roaming service ng simcard ko, hindi na nag-text. tangena! ano ba naman ang Php 15 na text. pang-piso lang pala siya eh. tangena!

ang kapal pa ng mukhang magpatawag. bakit? piso lang ba ang tawag sa 'pinas? marami raw siyang kwento! tangena! 'yun at 'yun lang din naman ang kwento mo eh. walang pinagbago!

kung tungkol sa lablayp mo, sumulat ka kay joe d'mango. hindi ako si dr. love. lintek!
kung tungkol sa sexcapades mo, kay xerex ka sumulat!
at kung may nabago sa pag-uugali mong bata at walang pinagkatandaan, kay charo ka naman!

tangena! mukha ba 'kong malaking tainga na laging sasabihan at makikinig? juke box ba ako na kapag hinulugan ng coins ay kakanta? hindi naman ako counselor! tangena!

kaibigan n'yo ko, oo! pero wala namang gaguhan! nakakloko na kayo eh! tangena!

Currently feeling: krank und genervt

SUN
na-appreciate ko ang araw at ang init nito dahil sa lamig dito sa germany. nasasarapan pa nga ako kapag nararamdaman ang init sa balat ko. now i know why the whites love it.

BEACH
total may araw, magandang katerno nito ang beach. i love to feel the sand on my feet as the wave reaches it. kahit pa sabihing nakakatakot ang tsunami, i miss the bitch... i mean beach!

CHICHARON BULAKLAK, ISAW, BITUKA AT CRISPY PATA
masarap 'tong pulutan lalao na kapag may sawsawang toyo't suka na may bawang at sili. masarap din itong iulam sa kanin.

JEEP
cool ang jeep kahit pa minsan kalahati lang ng pwet mo ang nakaupo. trip ko rin ang sumabit. at ang the best... ay ang malibre.

TRAFFIC
nakakinis pero okay pa rin 'tong excuse dahil kapanipaniwala pa rin. hindi kasi magawang excuse dito 'to kapag na-late ka!

MANILA
"hinahanap-hanap kita manila. ang ingay mong kay sarap sa tenga. mga jeepney mong nagliliparan, mga babae mong naggagandahan. take me back in your arms manila. and promise me you'll never let me go..."
it just have everything. it offers a lot from sun up to sun down... restaurants, parties, discos, bars, shopping centers, business, historical places, fake diplomas, pirated cd's, pito-pito, pamparegla, ukay-ukay, agimat, pokpok, tapsilugan, kaplugan. it's endless.

GIMIK
i find the gimik places here boring and cheap. jologs.

FAST FOOD CHAINS
purga na 'ko sa mcdo, burger king at kfc. gusto ko ng crispy-licious at juicy-licious na chickenjoy at ang kaning naliligo sa gravy; wend'ys burgers at frostee; siomai, siopao, dimsum platter, beef wanton noodles at black gulaman ng chowking; onion rings ng popeye's; sizzling plate meals at ang mga silog meals.

MALL
i'm not a mall rat but the malls in the philippines offer far more than what we have here.

LUGAW
masarap lalo na kapag malamig at may sahog tulad ng isaw, bituka, laman, goto, dila etc. isama mo na rin ang pinalutong na tokwa.

CABLE CHANNELS
naglalamay ako sa atin noon to watch a lot of movies, series and docus. i miss alley mcbeal, sex and the city and a lot more programs in cable channels.

FILIPINO TV SHOWS
kahit jolog ang tingin ng iba, i still think that it's better. we have more innovative and creative shows and better writers and actors than here.

FRESH FOODS
kahit pa nilalangaw ang mga karne at isda sa palengke, i don't care. fresch is just better.

STREET FOODS
lahat na ng pagkaing kalye, da best!

SARI-SARI STORE
dahil sa tingi-tingi at bawat kalsada at kalyae mayroon. idagdag pa na bukas 24 oras ang iba.

PAN DE SAL
need i say why?

TEXT
ilan lang nagte-text sa akin kahit pa may roaming sim ako.

BOOKS
i can't find the time to read saka madalang ang mga interesting books dito in english.

RADIO
the radio stations here are JOLOGS. even my teacher hates radio.

FIESTANG PINOY
nothing beats it! iba kapag tayo ang naghanda at nagcelebrate, it's just happier and better.

TROPA
kahit pa i'm ranting about friends last post.

HALO-HALO
damn! it's mouth watering!!!

BARBEQUE
isaw, bituka, balat, tenga, liempo, leeg, pakpak, hita, pitso, at kung anu-ano pa! slrrppp!!!

SAMALAMIG
melon, buko, sago at gulaman. mas nakakapagpalamig kaysa softdrink!

KAKANIN
biko, suman, kalamay, sapin-sapin etc.

"If you wish me to weep, you must mourn yourself first." --Horace

"Do not turn back when you are just at the goal." -- Publilius Syrus

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." --Albert Einstein

'When someone look at you and say you're a hopeless case, look at them in the eyes and say; "FUCK YOU!"' -- an MTV Made coach

"Ano 'yan, shower?" -- someone i used to be with "

People not seem to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

"We cannot always build the future for our youth, but we can build the youthfort he future." -- Franklin Roosevelt

"We should often be ashamed of our finest actions if the world understood our motives."-- Francois de la Rocherfoucauld

"The beginning is always today." --Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley

"Ooooh... Shiiiiit... Ooooh... Fuuucckk!!!!" --someone i used to be with

"Do not bite at the bait of pleasure 'till you know there is no hook beneath it." --Thomas Jefferson

"Every man is guilty of the all the goos he didn't do." --Voltaire

"Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance but to do what lies clearly at hand." --Thomas Carlyle "

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting." --Princess Elizabeth Asquith Bibesco

"Kapag ako... natilamsikan n'yan..." --an ex

"Never stand begging for that which you have the power to earn." --Miguel de Cervantes

"Shut out all of your past except theat which will help you weather yout tomorrows." --Sir William Osler

"Noone can make you inferior without your consent." --Eleanor Roosevelt

"The character of a man is known from his conversations." --Menander

"Malapit na ba?" --soemone i used to be with

"Be life long or short, its completesness depends on what it was lived for." --David Stan Jordan

"Rudeness is the week man's imitation of strength." --Eric Hoffer

"A life of peace, purity and refinement leads to a calm and undistured old age." --Cicero

"I lied. hahahahahaha." --Miriam Defensor-Santiago

"Take rest, a field that has rested gives bountiful crop." --Ovid

silver... Viertel Jahrhundert... Jubillee... 25 years... dalawampu't limang taon... anu-ano nga ba ang mga natutunan ko sa 25 taon ko ??? i've actually learned a lot but i've summarized it and listed the 25 things that i think best... don't be too nice baka umabuso sila!!! kung ayaw... 'di huwag... walang pilitan!!! learn from experience if you don't you'll have to take it over and over again, parang back subjects. okay lang bumiyahe nang mag-isa i mean literally and figuratively; it's actually enjoyable at exciting pa nga! learn to adapt with life's changes you have no choice, life changes. life's full of surprises get ready to be shocked!!! mag-ingat sa mga unggoy!!! choose your friends... be practical financial-wise! pero huwag magkuripot lalo na sa tunay na kaibigan at mga minamahal. okay lang gumanti minsan try n'yo, masarap din naman ang feeling. huwag lang sobra at nakaka-guilty rin naman. love yourself treat and pamper yourself!!! it's not being selfish. set your goals but always be flexible. so, have plan c, d, e . . . if you're no longer happy with anything, get out of it! don't be an asshole, please... you should learn from others as others should also learn from you. i think this a responsibility... trust your insticts believe me! i've already gotten into trouble for not believing. okay lang pirated cd's... basta x-rated trust me! hindi nakakapagsisi!!! simplify your life! one good way to make it uncomplicated. explore your world add some spice and make it nice... think several times before saying or doing anything safe mode dapat! sa una lang masakit don't worry! know your rights and fight for it! but you should also know when to just shut up and stop. helping others is absolutely good. doesn't only feels good... it's better to have a spritual side. set your spirits free!!! you can't have everything! it's the same as not having to know everything. sex isn't love... no matter how great it may be. there's always a reason behind everything! amen to that. (what else!?!)

Currently feeling: touched